You know, I am aware of the fact that I’m a bit extreme in my way of looking at things, compared to some of my fellow women here in Scandinavia. Can be, anyway.
The last 8 months-ish, I’ve spent a lot of time getting back in touch with myself. What I wanted for my future, what my values are, what kinda man turns me on, what kinda sex I want. What defined me. I left my husband last year, after too many years of indifference. I’ll be damned, if I spend a lifetime in a different shade of grey. So off I went, and the funny thing is that what I am now, came to me very fast. I’ve always been feminine lookwise, always been feminine in how I carry myself, but always had a strong personality too. I’ve always been turned on by men who could take charge, men who matched me in being strong mentally. All this has always been me, but the last 8 months or so, it grew a lot. I’m even more feminine. I’m even stronger. And I’m even more submissive in the company of the right man, than I ever thought possible.
I have a job, where I get my way. I say how I want things, and it happens. I’m spoiled in most aspects of life, and I know it. It hasn’t made me an arrogant bitch, but it’s made me focused, without many filters and a bit hardcore, I guess. I go after the things I desire, I do what I want and I fight for what I believe in, and if people don’t agree – I really don’t give a shit. Did I, as a girl, have wet fantasies of having ‘divorced’ on my resumé at 29? Fuck, no. But screw it. Life’s too short for indifference.
All this take-no-shit-attitude that Ive been told I exude several times, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a softer and more typical feminine side as well. I do. And it’s huge. I’m a huge flirt. I love flirting, it’s my honest oppinion that it makes the world go round a lot smoother, and I hardly think about it anymore when I do it. It’s second nature to me.
But when I meet a man who isn’t phased by the firecracker in me, -then- I get soft. When I meet someone who’s stronger than me, all the strongwilledness completely melts away. I -love- when someone takes charge. The way to my bed is to be dominant. In -and- out of bed. Male chaucvinists can fuck off, cause they’d grow sick of me quickly, but a strong alpha male and I go completely putty in his hands.
My exhusband did not have an alpha in him. It showed over the years when I grew older and wiser of what turns me on and I totally lost respect in him as a man. It’s taken me close to a decade to understand that the reason it didn’t work out, was that he didn’t have enough alpha in him. He backed down one too many times, making me even more bitchy, trying to push him to put me in my place, and somewhere down the line he ended up as my lapdog. I want, no, I -need- someone who can handle me and does -not- back down.
So to make a long story short; All those women who want men who agrees with her when she whines, hoping she’ll put out when they go to bed and the lights are turned off, -please- do go for those men. I highly encourage them doing that.
… Cause that leaves me with the men who don’t agree with me when -I- whine. The men who’ll instead pull me close by my hair, slam me against the kitchen countertop, tell me to shut the fuck up and screw me, just to put me in my place. Bliss.