Gave my exhusband red pill advice tonight. (‘Wtf?’, I know)

Just a quick entry from me. Ex met someone new. Apparently, she’s in the middle of a divorce (happened before she met my ex), really likes him, but is in her head a lot, which is quite understandable.

He’s really into her.

I know who she is. She’s not a friend of mine, but we both met her before or during our divorce. She’s really nice and good with kids.

Anyway, he sort of told me the other night, and it was clear he needed to talk about it. Unload a bit. He’s in love with her, and she says that some days she needs to pull back a bit and be herself and deal with all the decisions, but that she can’t deny the feelings she has for him.

And he was like a teenage girl in love. Overanalyzing. He wanted it so bad and some days he felt okay with her not being able to be there all the time, and other days he went nuts over it and needed to tell her a thousand times how he felt. (Yup… I know.)

I sat down with him, and explained to him, that he -needed- to give her the time and space she wanted. That he -needed- to not be needy. To not be available to her 24/7. And that the only shot he had was to play the game and not smother her.

‘Women doesn’t want a man who grovels in front of her and who pants after her. Women want an Alpha.’

‘I -know-, but it’s just so hard! It’s hard to play the game when you’re in so deep. I don’t know when I’m coming on too strong or when I’m too passive…’

I explained to him where I am at. I would love to meet someone who could be my rock. Pick me up, when I fell. Come over and spoon me and hold me and be strong for -me-, when I’ve been strong for everyone else all week. But I also know, that if he put the relationsship label on it too soon, I’d run a mile. Not because I fuck around, cause I sure as hell don’t. I wouldn’t even date more than one at a time, like I know is common in the States. I’m a one mans girl only, but -wording- it too soon… It’d be the same as a man saying on the second date,

‘Oh, I’m into scat. You cool with that, right?’

Anyway, I was -so- tempted to tell him to google ‘The Manosphere’. So, so tempted. But I didn’t. The thought of him finding my blog and recognizing his lapdog self, made me unable to.

I did tell him to make sure to not contact her all the time. To let her come to him. To not finish every text convo with him sending the last text. To try to keep the upper hand and not be too available. That when he had a meltdown, he could send her one text as opposed to eight, and then call me and let me talk him down, so he didn’t go batshit needy in her inbox. That there was no guarantees in love, but if he wanted her, he’d have to make peace with having to give her time, and that if he pushed her and smothered her – he could be damn sure, he’d lose. That women wanted a man who was strong, calm, confident – not desperate or too keen. And that giving her time wasn’t being desperate, because there was a difference between being needy and desperate for confirmation every three days and being confident enough to give her the space that she needs, just taking it slowly, one day at a time.

I am -not- an expert in Red Pill. I’m the greenest of beginners. But I know what would scare -me- away.

Oh, and I could have all this conversation without even once feeling a sting of jealousy or sadness that this was once my husband, and now a friend I give loveadvice to.

(… *whispers* Between you and me, though? When I found out the very first time that he had something going on with this nice woman (weeks before he actually told me), I thought ‘Oh my effing God, what if I end up some old crazy catlady, alone and weird?’ … and dismissed it after all of 5 seconds. πŸ˜‰ )

Take care out there in the cold, people.

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14 Responses to Gave my exhusband red pill advice tonight. (‘Wtf?’, I know)

  1. Sir Alan says:

    I have come to the conclusion that some men just can’t handle red pill game. It’s too much. They shut down quite quickly and then start to rail against the proliferators of red pill game, calling us con-artists and misogynists. Many betas don’t really want to change because if they change that would mean their entire life was a lie. People absolutely break down in the fact of knowing that everything they were ever told by their parents about the opposite sex could be wrong. It’s just too disheartening for some people. Betas take comfort in the fact that they are doing the right things at the right time and that they are on the right path and will eventually be rewarded. That’s why I believe that this is a point of no return for some people. It is easier to internalize Game concepts the younger you are because too much blue pill cultural indoctrination hasn’t taken hold. When you’re 40 or 50 and haven’t been on the market for so long while you wonder why your wife is getting wandering eyes, it is much harder to internalize the truths of red pill game. When you’re out in the field and seeing certain people get results and certain patterns and certain females go for certain guys, then you start to say “hm… maybe there is something to this after all”. At least, that’s how it was for me. I didn’t get slammed with alimony, divorce, or having a girlfriend cheat on me to wake me up to red pill game. I just saw that some of my friends who were assholes were getting all the girls while the stable, good guys were seen as asexual automatons. I was more fortunate than others.

    • I think you’re right. And I don’t think he’ll ever get it… If I thought there was a possibility of him getting it, I’d have stayed and fought, but… He’s too soft, too raised in the shadow of his mother. He was taught that the woman is a higher being than men. I kid you not. He always held the door, carried the groceries – the perfect gentleman. But… There’s just such a world of difference to a gentleman who comes from a place of being equal (preferrably with a touch of -me- being the … Not underdog, but def him having the leash if we’re staying in that analogy), and a gentleman who lapdogs. Huge difference.

    • adiaforon says:

      Some of us lucked out by having other priorities with women and letting them be, so the Red Pill was easier to swallow at a later age. This is what happened to me two years ago and I’m glad it happened, and kind of glad that I spent my life in the first few decades worry about myself first and not some unrealistic expectations coming from entitled women.

  2. cycnical optimist says:

    i’d give it a couple of months before she tells him “lets just be friends” or “im just nor happpyyyyy”. Even after the burning you gave him in the divorce how has the penny not dropped yet like really, how is it possible to be this completely unaware of inter-gender dynamics. Do the man a favour and send him linakge to the mansophere via a unnamed email address. He does not deserve another round of you sniggering behind his back….

    • I’m thinking the same. That she’ll bail. Because of him being so beta, but also because of her not even diorced yet. It’s so unimaginable to me to go from one relationsship directly into the next, that I can’t even believe someone else. I know with my head, but understand it with my heart – nope.

      Anyway, I’m not sniggering behind his back. He’s a good man, he’s a good friend and he deserves a good woman. I hope they’ll make it. But she’s a firecracker, and my experience is – if you have some firecracker in you, you want a man who’s an Alpha and he isn’t.

  3. Jeeves says:

    You could give him David Deidas Way of the Superior Man. It gives a gentle and deep introduction tot he red pill and real manhood. You could also show him this text and say you came across it online, read it and thought it sounded like very good info for men:

    You could also give him the No More Mister Nice Guy book

    Or you could send him a link to the book of Pook. It is one of the best texts written about game and is entirely about inner game. It is funny and in many ways easier to digest although hardcore red pill. Google it and you can find it for free. It is just a compilation of Pookies forum posts. It truly is a brilliant text.

  4. Hamster Tamer says:

    I’m getting the impression… that a dark-haired manly-man… with a red leather paddle… could come to your country… and basically make a full-time occupation out of spanking tall blonde wimminz who are bored out of their ovaries by the “herbs” their men have devolved into!… amirite? 😈

    In the USA we had a song titled ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?’… I guess your version would be ‘Where Have All The Conquering Viking Invaders Gone?’ πŸ˜†

  5. rgoltn says:

    I am married – going on 18 years – and I am a “red piller” for the last 1.5 years. I will admit it still freaks me out. My perspective of the women and men around me has forever changed; inlcuding that of my wife. It is a liberating feeling and sickening one too. I see buddies of mine Beta-tized to the point that they are more like girls than guys. I look at myself and wonder if I was the same. Well, I used to be one. That guy is forever dead. What bothers me is how I see my wife so differently.

    I know her ovulation cycle and I can see how she acts differently throughout the month. For example, her birthday was this past weekend and it coincided with her ovulation. She and a GF had a big party and her friend invited one of my wife’s “oribiters.” Wifey thought nothing of it; failing to let me know. She was trying to set him up with someone else, but still he was there and I am watching how this works like I am in a movie. Any other time, she would have told me her interions, but this time, she was not in control. I do not blame her. So, I have to cock-block the chump and make sure he knows that the “spark in her eye” has nothing to do with him. Geez, I felt like I knew some secret that others had no idea about.

    If you care about ex-hubby, give him the red-pill. He will forever thank you.

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