The neverending checklist some women have when looking for a partner puzzles me.
3. Godly handsome
6. Must want relationsship
7. Stylish and welldressed
8. Top job
9. … Yet have the time to entertain her 24/7
10. Give her her freedom
11. … Yet be there at her beck and call
12. Want him to be a MAN
13. … Yet when he -is-, and doesn’t jump when she says ‘jump’, she throws a fit
And on and on and on…
They create an illusion, franticly searching for it, and don’t want to settle for less. ‘You’re worth it, girl!’
… No, you’re not. If you think human beings come flawless, you’re shallow and downright stupid and not worthy of Prince Charming.
What is the point in looking for a fantasy? Is this the outcome of treating girls like princesses and telling her ‘He’s not worthy of you, honey’, when someone breaks up with her or doesn’t want her in the first place? Or is this a bi product of the buy-and-throw-away times of today? We want something perfect and throw it away, when it doesn’t meet the skyhigh standards of ours.
Everyone of us have flaws. This isn’t about ‘lowering your standards’ and settling for less than perfect, growing a little bitter over time because you didn’t wind up with the fairytale man you always wanted. It’s about tuning back into the real world, wanting a human over a shiny, glossy cartooney version of a man.
Besides … Who -is- flawless? Are you? I sure as hell aren’t.
Realise what you want and what the consequences of that choice will be.
You’re in a relationsship with a business man? Well, expect him to work a lot and to check his e-mails when not in the office. Don’t throw a fit when he works way more than 9-5 and doesn’t have all the time in the world to pamper the princess in you. Surprise, surprise – he’s not the Prince Charming you had painted out in your head. He has things to attend. Obligations. It comes with the job, you know. Don’t pout and go moody over it.
You wanted a man? Realise that you’re gonna have just that on your hands – a man that won’t fall for the little manipulating tricks you do. Someone who won’t lapdog on you and do as you please. It’s funny … I hear it a lot from women. ‘I want a MAN!’, yet when they find one, it’s only fun the first, short time. She’ll find it real old, real quickly and she’ll throw tantrums, when she can’t boss him around. Step down from the dating game, woman, and sort your head first. Realise what you actually want.
I know what I want. This last year, where I’ve lived alone has made it so much more clear to me what is important for me and what isn’t. My checklist is short. I want:
1. An Alpha. I want someone who’s a -man-. Mutual respect of course, but I want him to be in control and to lead.
2. Him to be passionated. I don’t care if he’s rich or not, works a fancy job or not, but I want him to passionated about what he does.
3. Him to be intelligent. Not rocket scientist, Ivy League, but I don’t want to snuggle up to a cardboard cut-out with whom I can’t have a conversation with.
It all boils down to insane chemistry for me. Not necessarily as in someone that’ll give me butterflies in my tummy, make my knees go weak and my panties wet the first time I lay eyes on him. I honestly don’t care much about looks, as long as he’s friends with a shower and has a fire in him. Looks are so, so secondary to me as long as we’re not talking extremes. Height? Blonde, dark, red? Sixpack? I don’t care. I honestly don’t. I have likes when it comes to a man’s looks, but the banter, the flirt and the chemistry is what turns me on, it’s what makes me fall and it’s what’s primary to me. I don’t want someone I can be with – I want someone I can’t -NOT- be together with.
Prince Charming? No, thanks. I prefer a real life man.