Never fawn over a woman + a million other little thoughts…

Today I read Dannyfrom504’s blog entry, where he comments on how it’s never a good strategy to be the schmuck who fawns over a woman. I so endlessly agree.

I guess it’s really a fundemental thing in all of us, isn’t it? We want what isn’t easily given to us. The ones that are harder to get, the things we have to work for in order to make it happen is always more satisfying when we -do- have it.

I’m not picturesque, but I clean up pretty well, and the men who lays down flat are uninteresting to me. It’s beta. We women want someone who’s confident and calm, someone who isn’t easily figured out. And a man giving me a small, secretive, almost sly smile, paying me half a compliment is so, so more attractive, than someone fawning. Always.

And please don’t misunderstand, it’s not about coming across as an arrogant asshole, it’s merely about not laying down flat for women. An air of confidence and the … ‘It’s not that I don’t give a shit, but I’m not desperate to close you’ will have a woman -wanting- to get closed.

Anyway, tonight I was going back from a big city near by. The car was somehow going way too fast on a perfect road with little nooks and turns, the music was flowing from the speakers and the sun was setting on a clear blue sky. Spring is -finally- here after a long, long, cripplingly cold winter… (Okay, yes, maybe I don’t exactly live in the Arctic, but is sure as f*ck feels like it. And I tend to get kinda shortfused when I’m cold… It’s not very charming, in all honesty. I just hate, hate being cold. And yes, I could (almost) be open to suggestions to come live with some reader, who lives somewhere nice and warm and toasty. Mmmm.)

This feeling of spring being here, and waving buh-bye to the last few months where work was way too hectic, where the kids and I were sick in turns (Did I mention I hate winter?) and where I let exhusband piss me off too much, made me feel like I’m getting back to the feel I had in 2012. Of course there was days where I felt pulling the duvet up over my head and just sleep for a week, but I mainly had this intoxicating feel of being -free-. Of feeling like the world were at my feet. Not in an arrogant way, but letting go of something that didn’t work and reaching for a new life, gave me that feeling. And that feel is starting to stir in me again, which is really, really nice.

What is new as well, is the fact that I think I’m actually starting to miss having someone in my life to spoil and cook for and sleep next to. For a long time, anything that smelled of commitment made me back away by a mile. I don’t think I have that reflex anymore. This new lack of slight panic, when I think of the concept of meeting someone, makes me feel all warm and calm. Very girly, I know. And the thought of all the wonderful, hairychested men out there, makes me feel all warm, as well. 😉 I don’t want perfection, I’m not one to look for flaws in a man. George from will probably flame me for saying this (;)), but I just want someone that I have insane chemistry with. Someone who’s Alpha enough to make me go all putty in his hands. If he has that, I don’t care about sixpacks or height or how many figures is on his paycheck. Oh, and while we’re on 3MM, major, major kudos for the interview he did with Huffington Post. That was -me- laying down flat, ’cause that must have taken cojones.

I think that was my ramble of the day. Life is pretty damn sweet.

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16 Responses to Never fawn over a woman + a million other little thoughts…

  1. darlingdoll says:

    Amen to the entire post!

  2. earl says:

    Would you say that after enough fawning statements they entice the emotion of….boredom?

    It would make sense to me hearing the same thing over and over since you won the genetic lottery would do nothing for you…and the worst emotion a woman can have is boredom.

    That’s why when I open an attractive gal I rarely if ever mention anything about her looks…unless it’s something slightly judgmental to get her hamster going. I’ve found any reaction in a woman…even anger is better than indifference.

    • Yeah, exactly. It gets old. I’m not saying I’m gorgeous, cause 1) I’m actually not, and 2) We have this nasty thing called The Jante Law that is too f*cking deeply imbedded in us all.

      Anyhoo, the guy who doesn’t appear all too interested is the guy we’ll want to win over. Every single time.

      • earl says:

        Also saw your stuff about beards….I grew mine out as an outward sign of my personality change. If a man wants a male version of makeup…grow one out.

      • For whatever reason works … Just grow it. Is so yum.

      • Mik says:

        Jante’s Law. Makes everything boring, i swear. Just dulls the fuck out of everything.

      • Yup. Thankfully, It get’s diluted with every generation.

      • RojoC says:

        Uggh, Jante Law—it gives me contempt for Scandinavia. And to realize that once people like the Finns and Swedes once made excellent rifles! And had Vikings! (I guess both groups still do make good weapons, but the way they cut the balls off their men is sad).

        I am going to admit that I am not the best with women. I am not completely lost either. I understand one shouldn’t fawn over. What always ends up happening to me is that I just never do anything or actually show interest. It sucks. I see plenty of pretty girls that I should be talking/flirting with but I never do. I never make my presence known.

        By the way, your avatar is really nice with those big full delicious lips.

      • Yup, the Jante Law is not a very pretty concept.

        And thank you!

    • Mik says:

      “I’ve found any reaction in a woman…even anger is better than indifference.”

      I find that well timed moments of anger is actually quite attractive to some women. It may be a subconcious thing, bt either way, it works a lot more than you’d think it does. Im not saying raging is the way to go. But its gotta be subtle but firm.

  3. LC says:

    I find that the men that “fawn” over me are actually the most insincere. It happened to me most recently at the Russian Embassy where I was at a concert with my singing teacher. This guy came up to me, claimed to have met me before, and was basically all over me all night long. It was just too weird and obviously fake. No one likes someone that much and is that interested upon first meeting. I mean, seriously, you don’t want to get married next weekend in Vegas. Give me a break! He was just trying to get me into bed with him by kissing up to me, and it was obvious that he didn’t really like me. Fawning over a woman is just another way of going about being a PUA.

  4. Mik says:

    Well, its worked when i open girls with asking for directions or some stupid shit then straight up telling her i was just bullshitting, i thought she was cute and figured id ask her out. My success rate on that is pretty high.

    But yeah, a guy should keep compliments about physical beauty to a minimum. Depending on the situation, you should say nada abt her looks.

  5. Pingback: Reflecting on the HuffPost Live Interview | 3rd Millenium Men

  6. dannyfrom504 says:

    thank you for the linkage Babycakes. i appreciate it.

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