My first encounter with an Alpha since I got divorced, happened about six months back. A friend and I were at our favourite nice bar/live music kinda place, and on my way out, an old school mate suddenly got in front of me, physically blocking my way.
I hadn’t seen him in over 10 years, and he told me to come over and have a drink with him. He didn’t ask, he told, with a genuine smile and warm eyes.
I did, and we sat down on the same side of a round table, across from each other. He was out with a group of male friends, whom I didn’t know any of, and the place was packed, so we sat close, in order to be able to talk over the music. We did some catching up, where he was in life, where I was in life.
And even though I’m a lot softer and warmer now than just a year back, it’s still rare that I meet people who make me almost shy. Through my job I meet and deal with a lot of people, and every now and again I’ll come across someone who intimidates the hell out of me. I was very young when I started in my job compared to my colleagues in the company and over the years I’ve learnt to hide the feeling of being intimidated. I can come across very professional and in control, even though I’m thinking ‘Oh my God, how will I ever land this account?’
Naturally, this transcends into my personal life as well. When I meet new people, I can generally appear unphased on the outside. It’s second nature to me to hold the eye contact, even if intimidated. Not at all as a staring contest and not with an arrogant look in my eye, but with an open smile.
… Until I met this Alpha, that night.
He looked at me in a way that completely made my normal way of reacting to people melt away. It wasn’t a dirty look per sé, but more a look like he could see right through me. Like he knew what I was thinking, and that knowledge made him smile this crooked, secretive smile – exactly like he knew a secret I didn’t. He’d hold the eyecontact with that look, making -me- be the one who broke the eyecontact, literally close to giggling, as I’d look down. It wasn’t -what- he said to me, it was the -way- he said it. And I was stunned and surprised at the fact that he was reducing me to -blushing-, by flirting in such a discrete, yet very clear and immensely powerful way. There were no cheesy pick-up lines. No game. No nothing, aside from a look in his eyes and a smile on his lips as we had our conversation, with pauses in between where he’d just look at me like that… Me doing what I could to hold the eye contact, but being the one breaking every single time, feeling put on the spot in a not unpleasant way at all. I rarely blush, but I could feel myself doing just that.
When I said he didn’t game me though, I wasn’t lying. Telling him I’d go find a cab, he walked me out to it, making sure I found it safely (or hoping he’d get a notch, who knows…), and as we walked down the street, he asked me why I left my ex-husband. Describing why, made him reply with that almost sly smile, that he thought I’d make a good girlfriend. Yup, not very gamey, and at that time the girlfriend-label in itself was enough to scare me off.
But meeting someone so confident borderlining cocky with no added assholeyness or resentness for women, someone so masculine and utterly Alpha was almost intoxicating. Liberating.