As most of you know, I’m divorced. From a sweet, sweet man, who just so happens to a beta. Beta plus…
Especially after we had kids, he changed dramatically. He’s a -good- person. Extremely helpful. A good friend. Someone who will drop what he’s doing and run to you, if you need help. But also extremely indecisive. Not able to say no. A pushover and not wanting to be the one who leads. All good, just not someone I want to be the woman of.
We’re good friends. We still eat sometimes with the children. He asks me loveadvice – like, a lot. I had a big talk with him some months back, after I met Mr. Alpha that I wrote about earlier, and tried to make him see the difference in a man who lapdogs and someone who’s confident. He sees it and he wants to be it, he wants me to teach him how to be, well, Alpha.
Needless to say, I’m prob not the best of mentor, since I’m all woman. But I can tell what I want in a man, and what went wrong between him and me. And he understands all of it, but he can’t put my words into action even though he wants to. He can’t change his behaviour, for some reason. He -knows- he push women away, but actually changing his ways? Noooo. Nuh-uh.
I’ve considered giving him dannyfrom504.wordpress.com’s link, cause he has some easily applied advice, but him finding my blog through it was too great a risk, and not one I was willing to take. I even considered going back and deleting some older entries where he’s mentioned, so I -could- actually give him the link, but ended up throwing the idea aside.
Last night I spoke to Danny on Skype, who said I could give him some text from there that was just copy/pasted thus not including the link, which was awesome of him. I do want exhusband to be happy with a great woman who can be a good wife to him. He’s really goodlooking and he’s really kind. So I’ve tried to help all I can.
Then tonight a comment of his turned up on my facebook feed. He commented on a picture of a woman he’s been seeing, who doesn’t want a relationsship with him, which -he- desperately wants with her.
And Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what he wrote to a picture she posted of herself:
“You’re godly beautiful, sweetie. Just the faboulous girl I want on my wedding picture. ❤ "
Just reading it, made me cringe. I so want him to be happy, 'cause that means my children will have a father with more energy and a happier spirit, but I think making him into an Alpha is a lost cause. Or should I succeed, I'll write a book and become a millionaire.
"Just the kind of faboulous girl I want on my weddingpicture ❤ " to a woman who doesn't want to be in a relationsship with him, and who -knows- he's desperately in love with him. Priceless, eh?
God, how I wish there was a beta antidote.